Yeah, im reading this like “what the heck?”
Im 56, been with my wife about 23 years. Our relationship is stronger than ever and as physical as ever.
It defintely takes work, but it isn’t bad work, its work that leads to clear results. The work is therapy or contrived dates…
Its :
1) learning from arguments. Working to understand the other person’s point of view. Learning to make arguments not about trying to win, but trying to understand the true conflict and fixing it. You cant do this while your amygdala is on fire, so you do it afterwards.
2) respecting your spouse’s sovereignty. You are a couple, but each of you is still a person, with individual goals, dreams, and struggles. The work here is to strive to free up time for the other to pursue their needs and desires and that ride may not include you.
3) grow together. You might think #2 would lead to growing apart. I suppose it could, but the key is to grow together. Watching tv or playing video games, even together gets you into a rut. As your partner pursues new things, work to learn what it is about those things that them. As you pursue nee things, delineate what it is about those things that interest you.
4) share struggles. The work here is to try to understand what yoyr spouse in going through. Recently my wife started hitting menopause. This may be natural, but it isn’t easy and it affects many parts of her life. Each womans journey through menopause is different, be there for her and take part in understanding the struggles. For a man, this could be if they enter baldness later, if their testosterone drops off. But it could also not be bodily issues, it could be loss of a job, it could be loss of a friend or family member. Be part if the struggle.
5) stay healthy. The work here is to eat right and exercise. Staying healthy is easier on your budget than having a life full of metformin and not being able to get up a couple of flights of stairs. Don’t be a fat ass, and inspire your spouse not to be one either. Good bodies also help spend better time in bed.
Anyway, this article acts like all older people get into stale relationships.
Thats bullshit
